


Crazy little thing called love

by Mazekey



Series: How many feathers in a murder?  (ONE SHOTS) [3]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Character Study, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Hurt No Comfort, Jealous Edward Nygma, Jealous Oswald Cobblepot, M/M, POV Multiple, Pining, Psychological Torture, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:10:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26360113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mazekey/pseuds/Mazekey
Summary: Riddler fails in his attempt to save Oswald from Arkham and ends up being thrown in the lion's den with the Penguin. Jerome finds all of this very interesting and decides to play with the two lovebirds that have fallen on his hands.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot & Jerome Valeska, Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Series: How many feathers in a murder?  (ONE SHOTS) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1834393
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Crazy little thing called love

**Author's Note:**

> If you don't like heavy angst/ character death, stop reading at the --- mark. Don't forget to maybe leave some kudos and a comment

This wasn't how things were supposed to go. When Oswald contacted the Riddler through the hidden messages, he'd expected him to be rescued in a grand event, something to go down in history. Ed was the smartest man in Gotham after all and in all fairness, his plan hadn't been awful but it wasn't fool's proof either. All it took was one extra guard than the Riddler had predicted, a truck with a busted wheel and a couple specially feisty nurses and the two of them were now wandering the dirty white halls of the asylum.

"Don't you worry about it, Oswald," Riddler said softly so that the words would stay between them, "Lee won't let me, or, well, Edward, rot in here. She has connections and used to work here. She will get us out in no time and then I'll find another way to break you out." 

"Don't bother," Oswald rubbed his face, "I will probably be dead by then." 

"C'mon, don't be like that. I mean, with Strange gone, how bad can therapy really be?" 

"It's not the therapy that worries me," Oswald said, pushing the doors to the cafeteria open. And there he was. The clown. The source of his pain. A part of Oswald, a small part, was thankful for the torture. Yes, it had been awful but it helped reignite the flame in his heart that had been put out when he joined. Of course, that still wasn't enough to make him not hate the clown. 

Not a second after his eyes had landed on Jerome, the ginger turned to look at Oswald with that disgusting patched up smile of his. A large smile which could only be compared to Oswald's frown. The Penguin looked away and sat on an empty table while dragging Riddler by the wrist with him.

Edward followed the shorter's gaze until he found the sociopath he'd read about while working at the GCPD what felt like a life time ago. He was used to dealing with looneys but few stirred as much of a rebellion than Valeska had. He was more than just a criminal, he was a symbol and that made him dangerous. "I assume that is a friend of yours?" 

"Don't look at him," Oswald said through his teeth and pulled Edward to sit next to him, "listen to me, Ed, things in here aren't like they used to. Strange was bad but he kept the creeps in line. Without him, this place has no control over them. All they do is separate us from the rest and if we kill eachother in the process, no one will care." 

"Now, don't be like that Pengy," Oswald stiffined as he felt the gloved hands squeeze his shoulder. "You are one of my favorite toys." The way Jerome whispered into Oswald's ear made something boil inside Riddler. It was an intimate, possessive gesture that would have gotten anyone else killed by the Penguin's wrath. Instead, Oswald clenched his fists and flared his nostrils. 

"Get your dirty hands off of me, Valeska. I'm not your toy!" The fury in the kingpin's eyes was enough to make Ed shift uncomfortably. Oswald had never looked at him like that, it was a look of pure hatred. 

"Sure you are!" With those words, he yanked the smaller man's black locks back, revealing his eyes more properly, eyes that had been hidden from the clown by the dark nest until that point. They killed the ginger with their gaze, "this is my funhouse, Ozzie! Everyone and everything in it is my toy in here for just my entertainment, including you and your beanpole pal over there." 

"Riddler," he corrected, "I'm the Riddler." He kept his tone neutral for now. Luckily he was good at hiding his own emotions. 

"And I'm the guy who didn't ask!" Jerome laughed as he slammed Oswald's head onto the table causing a gasp to leave the other's lips. He glanced back at Edward whose left eye was twitching slightly, "ya know, you remind me of my brother. I hate my brother." He grinned. 

"I'm sorry to hear that," Nygma answered coldly, "but I'd appreciate it if you could let go of him." 

"Yeah?" Jerome pulled Oswald's hair again so that both would be able to look at Ed, "what if I say no, huh? What are ya gonna do?" 

Riddler looked Oswald in the eyes and the male shook his head slightly. His nose was bleeding and he had no doubt this man had been the reason why he was covered in bruises. He should let go. It would be so much easier. "What fills up a hole?" 

Jerome blinked a few times before throwing his head back and laughing, "NOW I get it! The Riddler! That's your gimmick! Wow, that's lame! It fits you incredibly well!" He chuckled and faced Oswald, "really, where do you find these guys? I mean, I know you're crazy but c'mon, Ozzy? Can't you do a little better than that?" 

"What is that supposed to mean?" Riddler narrowed his eyes. 

Jerome tilted his head slightly with interest, "nevermind that for now. You made me laugh so I will let ya be for now. I trust Ozzie to show you around," the boss finally let go of the Penguin turning around to be followed by his goons and both Scarecrow and the Mad Hatter. "Get comfortable but not TOO comfortable. See you later alligators." He waved his hand with his back turned towards the duo and then left. 

That night Edward found it difficult to sleep. Not only because of the unfamiliar walls and the sound of wailing from the inmates but also the thought of Oswald being in a cell right next to that disgusting man. Who was he to dare call the Riddler lame? All that he was was a pawn in a bigger villain's scheme. He was _nothing!_ Certainly not anyone to touch Oswald like that.

 _To be fair, he did he the balls to kill his abusive_ parent. He heard Edward mock from the corner of the room. 

"Shut up," Riddler growled and rubbed his temples. 

"I didn't say anything," he heard a different voice say. A feminine voice, one he had never heard before. 

"What? Who is there?" He asked looking out through the door and then around the room once he found it empty. 

"Me, over here!" The voice said again and Riddler finally saw the woman speaking. They were separated by a small grade just big enough to allow him to see her shape. Her hair was wavy long fell over her shoulders like hills made of gold. Her green eyes looked like jewels full of curiosity and she was the most alive thing he had set his eyes on ever since he arrived. "Hey!" She waved and offered a warm grin, "Riddler, right? H U G E fan. I read, like, all about your cases." 

He knew it was a trap and she was just trying to boost his ego but that didn't mean it didn't work. "Then you have an excellent taste for literature." 

"Thanks!" She chuckled and bit her lower lip while tilting her head to the side, "so, what are you doing here? Got tired of playing popsicle?" 

Riddler felt his cheeks burn slightly at the insinuation, "first of all, I have no reason to explain myself to some nobody freak who was thrown in the looney bin. Second, I don't intend on staying for long." He turned his back towards here expecting that to be the end of the conversation. It wasn't. 

"Candy." 

The alter stopped, "what?" He turned to look at her. 

"My name is Candace but people call me Candy. That is also how I killed my ex boyfriends, poison candy. There just aren't that many good guys left in Gotham, ya know? Anyways, now you know my name AND my crime so ain't nobody no more." 

Riddler looked at the girl completely unfazed. "That is a double negative and if you have not noticed, I do not care." He sat on the bed, "now if you'll excuse me, I'll use my time doing something more productive like sleeping." 

"Gotcha!" The girl said without losing the bubbly smile, "night, mister Riddler! I can sing to you if ya want. I have been told I have a great-" 

"Don't." And with that last word, he turned on his side and tried his best to endure the rest of the night pretending to sleep. 

Oswald was used to the beating. Growing up as a poor kid in Gotham who had to pickpocket wallets in order to survive led to his fair share of aggressions, specially from the victims of his crimes and the cops who were just doing their job on a 10 years old child. Not to mention all the bullying for his appeareance. That had had its perks, for example, as an adult Oswald had a much higher pain resistance than most. Even after having his leg broken, he could walk around despite the pain through sheer willpower alone. His ego, in the other hand, throbbed and contorted in pain. That was the part of him that truly hurt.

As he looked at himself through a small mirror he managed to acquire using the little influece in that place, he couldn't help but feel his stomach contort. His injuries weren't all that bad, most of which were close to fully healed already. The man looking back at him was completely broken however. His already pale skin was whiter than the sheets on the beds, one of his eyes was partially swollen and the other one had sunken back in his skull. He looked more dead than alive at that point. The past few months had been rough on him and yet he felt as if things were about to get worse specially with Ed- or Riddler- in there with him. The thought of his former best friend joining Jerome was one he couldn't ignore. Sure, things appeared to be better between them, good enough for Riddler to try to save him, but that didn't mean they were friends. Just business partners. 

The only thought that was somehow worse than that was having Edward feel pity for him. The Penguin despised pity. He loathed the thought of being seen as weak, specially by someone he cared about as much as Edward and Jerome knew that. He knew his feelings for the other man. He had cried the ex chief of staff's name during his first nights in there and through his torture, the clown had managed to squeeze the truth from his lips. He was still in love with Ed and he felt awful for it. 

They said insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results. If that was the case, he was quite literally crazy for Edward. No matter how broken his heart had been it still beat for the other man. He'd built walls, of course, he refused to let his feelings be known however his walls weren't indestructible and Ed being there with him had started to shaken them. Just the way he looked at him and tried to get Jerome to let him go filled Oswald with warmth and rage. 

"Knock knock, birdie~" Oswald flinched. He had been so deep in his thoughts he hadn't noticed Jerome walking inside. 

"What do you want?" He asked sharply while looking as intimidating as his current appearence let him. 

"You are late for breakfast, Pengy. You worried me," he pouted mockingly and placed a hand on his chest, "can't a worried friend check on his other friend?" 

"We are not friends." Oswald looked at the mirror again. 

"Sure we are, Pengy," Jerome walked behind Oswald, "at least I see you as one. So much so I even got you the man you so much desired." 

Oswald blinked and furrowed his eyebrows before looking at him, "what do you mean?" He asked carefully. 

"Who do you think hinted at a possible escape attempt the same day he came for you? Who do you think instructed the guards to be where they were?" Jerome grinned as realization spread on Oswald's face and he stood up. 

"You!" Oswald pointed at Jerome, "you ruined EVERYTHING!" 

"Ah ah ah," Jerome put a hand on Oswald's and made him lower his hand, "I didn't ruin anything, birdie. I'm trying to fix it. I told you before, you'll be getting out with the rest of us, just be patient. I'm much more interested in your relationship with nerdy boy. You like him, we both know you do." 

Oswald pulled his hand as pink dusted his freckles, "what is it to you?!" 

"Nothing. But it means a lot to you. This is a gift, Oswald. A peace offer of sorts. In exchange, you will work with me once we are out and do as I say until my plan is complete. Nothing more nothing else," Jerome said and crossed his heart.

Oswald's shoulders lowered slightly but he kept his defenses up, "I don't believe you." 

Jerome sighed, "fair enough. I guess I deserve that. I will just have to prove it to you, little bird, but I can't do that if you stay in your bedroom. What do you say? Will ya give lil' ol' me a chance?" 

Oswald looked at his hand as he offered it before placing his on top. "Fine. One chance." 

With a grin, Jerome pulled Oswald closer to him and grabbed his chin between his thumb and index finger, "that's all I could have asked for." He said before slamming his head into Ed's. 

Riddler was also worried about Oswald. He hadn't showed up for breakfast and he couldn't help but think about what that clown could be doing to him. He knew Oswald wasn't weak, however he had seemed so hopeless the previous day. No matter how much the stupid clown hurt him he didn't fight back. He remained passive, still and tamed. What had they done to him? 

_What he deserved._ He heard Edward whisper. Riddler took a deep breath to avoid answering and make them seem as crazy as they actually were in front of those looneys. Speaking of looneys, the chick from the previous day had sat next to him and was speaking much for his annoyance. He had no idea what she was saying, the girl didn't deserve his attention and he had more important things to worry about. "I have to do something," he revealed finally letting his worry get the best of him and standing up. 

"Oh, ok. I'll talk to you later," she tried to say but Riddler was already gone. 

He had to find Oswald. The first and right place to look turned out to be his cell. Even before he arrived, he heard the screaming from the other room belonging to his companion. When he made his way inside, he found the smaller male with his hands tied behind his back and a gag around his mouth to muffle his screams as the brunette was pressed against the wall. Riddler had no idea what Jerome's intentions were and he didn't care. With all of his speed and strength, he punched Jerome to get him off of his friend, "get off of him." He snarled. 

As Jerome fell on the floor with his arms open, he just laughed, blood dripping from his nose. Still laughing he kicked Riddler on the stomach, causing him to bend over, holding his stomach and coughing while stepping back. "Or what?" Jerome jumped up, "what is he to ya anyways? I mean, didn't Pengy over here kill your GF and all that jazz? Why the hell do you care what happens?" 

Edward tried to sucker punch Jerome, however the ginger was faster and quite agile, retributing by kicking him in the knee to drop the taller man. Oswald let out a muffled scream. The clown looked between the and bent next to Nygma, "ya know what I think? I think ya like him but ya're too much of an asshole to admit it." 

"Shut up," Riddler growled and tried to get up only to be forced back down by the clown. "See? Asshole." He chuckled and pushed Nygma back, making him fall while the clown stood up and walked to Oswald. He pulled a hidden shiv from his sleeve and rolled it over his fingers, "see, here is the problem: Oswald over here?" He pressed the blade against the kingpin's neck causing him to squirm, "I'm kind of bored of him. It's always the same bullshit, I annoy him until he explodes, he attacks me and I beat him up. I just don't find the enjoyment that I used to. So here is the deal, if you want him, if you REALLY want him, I'll hand him to ya. Free of charge and all. But first, ya gotta really convince me that you want him. If you don't, well, I'll just find a use for what is left," Jerome cut a thin red line on his neck and both men froze pale. The two exchanged a look, cyan on brown and Riddler found himself in an impossible position. 

He had never been good with feelings. Sure, Ed was no expert in that subject either but he was still better than Riddler who would rather hide behind smiles and an act than admit his true feelings. He couldn't give Ed the wheel since he knew he was still mad on the bird. He also knew what those feelings were even if he refused to admit it. Riddler had known them since he thought Oswald laid dead in the bottom of the ocean and the two alters felr incomplete. If they were two sides of the same man, Oswald was the glue that kept them together. There was no them without him. He couldn't lose him again. They couldn't. 

"Fine," Riddler stepped ahead and pushed Jerome aside so he would be the one close to the smaller man. He rubbed his thumb over the blood and licked it which made Oswald squirm. "I don't expect a clown like you to understand, however, through my entire life my one and only job was to protect someone else. I was never me. Not really. I was just a shadow." He cupped Oswald's cheek, "a nobody wanting to be somebody. I think that, when I first saw him I was jealous of him. Penguin was, for better or for worse, everything we weren't. He was brave, bold, charismatic. He wasn't afraid of being who he was. When we found Oswald in the woods, I actually wanted to get rid of him. Of course, Ed insisted and we brought him back home." Riddler chuckled a little. His heart was drumming inside his chest, "I'm glad he did. I have never trusted anyone around us. Not our father, not Ed's girlfriends but somehow I began trusting Oswald. He wasn't perfect, far from it, but he never tried to hide his flaws. He didn't lie, not to us. And that... connection we created in that apartment only grew stronger after he became mayor. I so desperately wanted to show him how much we cared, how much we could do. I wanted him to see us as his equals but, of course, he didn't." Riddler pulled the gag from his mouth violently and Oswald coughed. 

"Riddler-" he whispered but was interrupted by an index finger on his lips. 

"I wasn't mad that you killed Isabella, Oswald. I didn't like her either, but why did you have to lie to us? Why didn't you just- talk to us? You had all the reason in the world to doubt her, to hate her, and yet you still chose to act on your own. That was when I realized, you didn't see us as people. You saw us as objects. Objects you wished to possess. Because that's what you do. What you want, you take and fuck everyone else around us. Did you even stop to think about Ed's feelings?" 

"Of COURSE I did! I- I tried to get her to leave peacefully but she just refused to listen! I knew it was only a matter of time until you or Ed hurt her and I didn't want that! Not for some slut that probably wasn't even human!" 

Riddler pressed a finger against his chest. "See, Oswald, you're correct but you're not right. Because Ed and I may have been the ones to sleep with someone else but YOU went behind out backs. YOU lied to us. YOU cheated and you know how I feel about cheating." 

Oswald looked him in the eyes for a moment before dropping his head in shame. 

Jerome yawned. "God, yuou two are SOOOO boring. Anyways, I guess it means I can finish what-" he went to take a step forward only to have Riddler snap back at him. 

"I am NOT done!" He raised his voice which made even the clown freeze for a moment. "You will wait for your turn, _boy_." The last word was full of poison, the same poison they had heard their whole lives. It apparently worked since for once Jerome actually shut up. 

"I-I'm sorry," Oswald whispered with his eyes closed. "I was just- scared. Scared that you'd chose her over me. Scared that I would lose you and in the end I lost you anyways. Heh. I guess I'm not that brave after all." 

Riddler's features softened and he tilted Oswald's chin up, "it takes a lot of bravery to speak the truth." 

"Yeah," Oswald sighed, "too bad it is too little too late." He looked down. 

"And who said that?" Riddler asked and stroked his chin, "because, yes, you are a horrible man, Oswald Cobblepot. You are childish, selfish and throws a tantrum when you don't get what you want and you are so very evil and I couldn't be more glad because the truth is, our truth is that we don't need someone who is perfect. We just need someone who is true and who makes us feel real and there isn't a single person in this world who fits those two categories more perfectly than you. It took us losing you for me to realize that. So, if it's not too much to ask, would you like to be imperfect with me as my boyfriend?" 

For a moment, Oswald didn't reply and Riddler felt his anxiety spike. He thought that maybe it was too late. Maybe Oswald was the one who didn't want them back anymore. Thankfully, all of his fears were pushed aside as Oswald leaned forward as much as the sheets made into ties would allow him and kissed the taller man deeply. Riddler let out a breath of relief as Jerome rolled his eyes, "yeah, I've never been a fan of romance," he shrugged before leaving the two alone. 

**\---**

The following days were very different to the two of them. Even a place like Arkham appeared to have more color, the air felt lighter and even in a place bad enough to make hell blush, they found happiness. No, it wasn't perfect. Between 'therapy' and Jerome's torture, both of them had an ever growing collection of scars. 

Oswald thought that maybe since Jerome seemed more kin on being his 'friend' the beatings would stop, but he was mistaken. The mockery continued as bad as ever. At least he had something to look forward to. 

More importantly, Edward was extremely supportive through it all. He'd always be there to help him with his wounds and even try to protect him, although that only led him to get him beaten as well. The Penguin didn't know what Jerome's game was and frankly, he did not care. Not as long as he had Edward. 

The kingpin had just accepted that Jerome worked in mysterious ways, that didn't mean he didn't intend on fighting back, which is why, after months trying to acquire one, he finally got himself a shiv and he intended to use it on the clown. He just needed an opportunity and he intended on making one for himself today. 

Riddler in the other hand grew more and more worried. Oswald wasn't looking too good to the point he looked sickly. He knew he had to do something soon or he dreaded what could happen to their bird. It had taken so long to get where they were, he couldn't let fate set them apart so soon. 

'I disagree,' Edward interrupted his alter's thoughts as he brushed his teeth. 'I think that Jerome is doing us a favor personally.' 

"Shut up," Riddler replied with a mouthful of toothpaste. 

'No, YOU don't get to tell me to shut up after you hijack my body and then use it to FUCK my worst enemy!' 

Riddler spat before looking at him, "you were going to kill yourself, or worse yet, fall for another woman who doesn't like you." 

'You don't know that! Lee is a good woman!' Edward tried to argue from the mirror. 

"Yes, Edward, she is which is why I know we could never be with her. We are not good. We kill people, we rob banks, we cheat and we lie for our own selfish reasons. THIS is the reason why our love interest get killed. They are just not evil enough for us. Oswald is the definition of perfect for us. He understands us, he accepts us, he loves us and he's arguably the most evil person in this entire city! Not to mention that he is highly attractive, caring, loving and he does that little thing with his nose-" 

Edward rolled his eyes, 'stop!' 

Riddler felt a little flustered as he cleaned his throat, "my point is, loving Oswald won't get him killed. He is strong enough to be with us. And if you weren't such a childish asshole I would let you sleep with him as well." 

'I don't want to sleep with him!' Edward was quick to answer, 'I want to kill him!'

"Well," Riddler adjusted his clothes, "more for me." He said and turned around before leaving. 

The doors to the cafeteria flung open as the inmate walked inside in a flamboyant way only the Riddler could pull. Somehow, Edward had put him in a good mood. He had always had to share everything with the other and knowing Oswald was his and his alone, at least for the time being, gave him a feeling of empowerment he had never felt before. The criminal strode to the line with a smug grin before looking around the room for his partner. 

And he looked. 

And he looked. 

But he never found him. The smile on his lips faded exponentially at the same time worry settled in. Oswald wasn't there nor Jerome. 

"Hey, Riddler!" His annoying neighbor said from behind him, electing an eye roll from the man, "so, have you thought about my proposal? I can get us out of here in no time." Candy said with a smirk. 

"For the tenth time, I have no interest to go anywhere with you, sugar." 

"Candy-" she tried to correct. 

"Don't interrupt me," the girl shut her mouth, "I don't need your help to escape. I'm the Riddler. The smartest person in the city. A true genius, not to mention that I'm friends with a true queen. You are a nobody. You? Breaking ME out? Don't make me laugh!" Riddler scoffed and left the line. He knew that was a bit too rude, even for his standards but he was worried and this girl kept pestering him and undermining his intelligence. 

The man wasn't hungry anymore, so he got rid of his tray and left to go find his boyfriend. He made his way over to Oswald's cell expecting to find the other man on the floor, bleeding as usual but finding it empty instead. "What?" He whispered. 

The room was tidy. There wasn't even a hint that anyone had slept in there.

Before he could investigate it further, a gloved hand squeezed his shoulder making him flinch. "Riddleboy!" Jerome greeted with a smirk, "nice to see ya here? I'm guessing ya didn't come all the way over here to see lil' ol' me." He chuckled. 

Edward turned to look at Jerome, "where is he?" He growled. 

The clown hummed and rubbed his chin, "who knows? Birds are pesky little things, sometimes they wanna fly too close to the sun so ya gotta cut their wings," he said mischievously and patted his shoulder a couple of times before turning around. 

"What did you do to him? What-?" Riddler did as if he was about to confront him further but stopped as he saw four large, muscular men waiting outside for Jerome, one of which was a guard. 

"Don't ya like riddles, Riddler?" The clown grinned. "Solve this one on your own." He winked before walking off with his men. 

Riddler felt his stomach twist. What was that supposed to mean? Did he do something to Oswald? He had to find out. No, not just find out, Edward couldn't let Jerome keep on playing with them like that. He needed to get out. He needed to escape and bring Oswald with him. 

Sucking up his pride, the tall man turned around and returned to the cafeteria where he found the girl eating on her own. Riddler rushed towards her and slammed the table, making her flinch and look up at him, "what the hell?" 

"I need to escape with another inmate as fast as possible," his tone was rushed but soft so none of the guards would listen in. "I have come to the realization that I cannot afford to stay here and wait while risking losing myself or the one I love." 

Candy smirked, "that's sweet, hun, but after the little show you pulled earlier and all the other times you ignored me, it ain't for free no more." 

"What?!" Edward took a deep breath to calm himself. He could hear Ed laughing in his ear, mocking him. Yes, his ego was injured, however, Oswald was more important, "fine," he said through his teeth, "what is your price? Money? Power? I have a lot of influence out of here-" 

"A kiss," Candy chirped, "on the lips." Her grin twisted higher as she saw the disgust and absolute fear in Riddler's face. A kiss was both extremely cheap and beyond expensive. If word of their exchange reached Oswald's ear the kingpin would, without a doubt flip out. 

"Why a kiss?! I can get you ANYTHING! Vengeance, money, a new identity, nothing is too much for me!" Riddler tried. 

Candy shook her head, "sorry, hun. I'm not interested in any of that, plus, haven't kissed a pretty boy like ya in a looooong time." She winked and leaned on her hand. 

Riddler's eyes widened as Ed whispered ' _she liiiiiikes us~'_ in his ear. 

How foolish he had been. Of course Candy had fallen in love with him. It was only natural how superior he was compared to everyone else. Unfortunately for her, his heart belonged to another man and him alone. Of course, that didn't mean he couldn't use the opportunity displayed in front of him and her feelings would ensure her loyalty. Oswald didn't have to know. "Just a kiss?" 

The girl nodded, "just a kiss. Nothing more, nothing else." 

Riddler sighed and rubbed his face, "very well, but not here. I don't want anyone else to see it. C'mon, let's go back to my cell." 

The girl snorted and stood up, leaving some food behind, "kinky~" 

Meanwhile, Oswald was finally ready. The biggest threats like Scarecrow and the Mad Hatter were too busy and so were most of his goons. All he had to do now was get Jerome to a safe, isolated space and end the clown and end him before getting rid of the body not to arise any suspicions, and what better place to do that than his boyfriend's cell? He trusted Edward, he was the most intelligent man he knew and could help getting rid of the body, plus, he hated Jerome which was a plus. 

Unfortunately, Oswald hadn't been able to communicate his plan to Edward besides the part where he'd gotten a Shiv of himself, he knew his best friend had a hard time lying and keeping his mouth shut due to his compulsive behavior to tell riddles as clues for his crimes so he figured it would be best to tell him after. Plus, who didn't like a good surprise? 

Finding Jerome wasn't hard. As expected, he was in his cell writing in what Oswald assumed was a diary. Huh. The clown didn't seem like the type to keep those, "ya just missed your boyfriend, little bird," he said without looking away from the pages, "he was looking for you." 

Yeah, he'd definitely have to find Edward soon. He was probably worrird sick, "I'm not here to talk to him. I want talk to you," he moved his hand a little closer to where the blade was, a subconscious action that he hoped to go unnotice, or rather, show you something." 

Jerome finally dropped the pen and turned on the chair to face the kingpin, "oh? And what is that my feathery friend?" 

"I can't really tell you, I have to show you. It is about your 'gift' to me. It's about Edward." Oswald tensed up slightly as Jerome stood up. 

"Oh? Tired of him already? No refunds, Pengy but I guess I can get rid of it for ya." 

"No!" Oswald said quickly and held his wrist, "no, it's not that! I just- I think he may be plotting something and I need your help finding out what it is and I don't trust anyone else to help me. I know you won't tell him, we are friends after all, right?" 

Jerome's grin grew, "you trust me? I guess you are dumber than you look but fine. I'll humor ya."

Oswald let out a small breath of relief and nodded before leading Jerome to Ed's cell. 

"Here we are!" Riddler announced as he opened the door to his room. It was a little too white for his taste but oh well. He wouldn't have to deal with it much longer.

"Sure we are," candy replied wiyh a grin. 

Riddler turned back to look at her, "so, how do you wanna do-" before he even finished his sentence, the man was pinned against the wall with his lips touching those of the girl.

He tried to tell himself that he didn't enjoy it, that he was just doing this for Oswald and their escape but the truth was, a part of him did enjoy it, the same part he had been trying to deny, to forget and push aside crawled back fueled by desire. Riddler realized he was not in control a little too late. 

Ed placed his hand on the girl's waist as he tilted his head and furthered the kiss. His hips grinded against her groin as an incentive for her to continue. 

"What is the meaning of this!?" They were interrupted by Oswald shouting. Despite Riddler screaming and fighting inside his brain, Candy was actually the one to pull away. Ed still tried to chase even then. 

"Oops, looks like we were caught~" she stepped away from Ed, who groaned in return before looking at the confused mobster and the laughing clown behind him. 

"H-how could you?!" Oswald croaked, "after everything we were through in here..." he sniffed with his teeth gritted and wiped away the tears, "I thought you were my one true love... I would have given you everything, my empire, my life, hell, I gave you my virginity for crying out loud!" He yelled causing both Jerome and Candy to snort and his cheeks to flush. If the betrayal wasn't already bad enough, the embarrassment from being cheated on in front of his worst enemy was the nail in the coffin. With trembling lips he looked at Edward's emotionless gaze. "I thought you loved me." 

"Then that was your mistake," Ed took a step forward to press his finger against his chest, brown eyes on Cyan, "did you really think that I could love you, Oswald? Someone as childish and selfish and repugnant as you?" The kingpin winced at every word, feeling smaller and smaller. "You are pathetic. A pathetic little man so desperate for affection he won't even realize what is in front of him," Ed put his hand around the kingpin's throat, Oswald just arched his back. Candy stepped forward as if to intervene but stopped when she saw Jerome shake his head, "this was all part of my revenge. All part of the plan and you fell for it," he chuckled and squeezed. 

Oswald didn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. What they felt was real. It HAD to be real. It was the only thing keeping him sane anymore, the last hope he had left. He looked at Jerome peacefully, begging for help. The clown finally walked forward, not to help, rather to place a hand on Edward's shoulder. "I gotta say, beanpole, ya're funnier than I initially thought! I mean, when I got Candy over here to flirt with ya I expected yo make the birdie pissy. This is SO much better!" Jerome bent over as he cackled, Edward's own chuckle joining him as he kicked and scratched, his face growing blue. 

Oswald's tears dropped from his cheeks and the laughter melted into one. His entire life people laughed at him, put him down and sad he wouldn't make it. He thought that he had proved them wrong after defeating Fish and yet, he kept falling. He would rise only to tumble and every time he lost something, his mother, his father and the most one being Edward, although instead of a sacrifice he was a traitor. A Judas. A thief. He'd stollen Oswald's heart and shattered it again and again and the kingpin collected the pieces to try and rebuild only for it to be shattered again. 

No more. 

No more collecting the pieces. 

No more falling.

From now on, he would only rise up and he wouldn't let anyone stay in the way. Not even Ed. He would make sure of that. Oswald made up his mind. No more being laughed at. As his tears stopped falling, he gritted his teeth with a renewed determination before reaching for the shiv. He had once said that there was no Penguin with Ed. He'd have to find a way for there to be.

With no time for hesitancy, he sunk the blade into Edward's stomach, finally forcing him to let go. As Oswald coughed and rubbed his neck, his ex chief of staff looked at his now bloodied hands before looking at his best friend and once boyfriend, "Oswald-" 

But the Penguin never heard what his last words were. The blade swiped in one quick motion over Edward's neck. Just a blurry red over the black and white that didn't match his boyfriend. 

And just like that, there was no going back. 

Edward's eyes widened as he looked at Oswald for just a second before he fell on the floor. One might say Ed deserved a slow, painful death for all he had done, but the kingpin couldn't bring himself to do it, just like he couldn't bring himself to look at him as he breathed his final breath. He felt cold with a hollow hole where his chest was, his heart finally dying after one last stab, just like his lover. 

He wasn't done, of course. The Penguin looked up at Jerome who was as unbothered as always, just finding the whole ordeal funny, "like I said, little bird, no refunds." Oswald closed the space between them much faster than his leg would have normally allowed. He didn't feel pain anymore, nor anger nor sorrow. Just emptiness.

Even as the blade sunk into Jerome's chest and he finally did what he had dreamed of since joining that cursed place, Oswald felt no joy. He could only feel cold, "I'm not a little bird." He growled before pushing Jerome away. 

Jerome fell by Oswald's feet, blood pouring out of the corner of his mouth forming an even larger, bloody smile. "There you are," he whispered as blood filled his mouth, "there is the funny bird I was looking for." He said and laughed, then chucked and then snorted before going completely silence. The red grin still wide on his face.

Only one person left. 

Oswald had no doubt the girl would have ran away had Jerome and now him been blocking the door. She looked scared, terrified. At least the girl wasn't completely brainless, "I- please, I'm sorry, ok? I was only doing what Jerome asked, I never meant for things to go this bad!" 

With one hand Oswald cupped her cheeks while he pressed a bloody index finger against her lips with the other. "It's ok, sweety. It's ok." 

The whimpered while looking him in the eyes, "please, don't kill me." 

Oswald smirked sweetly and gently took her hand with the one with the blade, "it's alright, sweety. I won't kill you," his grip tightened around her hand, "I need someone to act as an escape goat after all," he shoved her hand into his stomach, allowing the blade to sink in. The girl yelped and let go but it was already too late. "The others though, the clown's followers, they will tear you apart." He said and held onto the wound as he began to laugh. As the girl got to her feet, skin pale except for the splotches of blood from Oswald who fell on her, the man cackled maniacally. Even as she ran to the door and left him alone, the mobster laughed. Even as his blood spread over the floor and blended with his lost love, the man cackled. It wasn't an action out of joy or happiness, he wasn't glad or relieved, he didn't feel good at all. It was just so ironic like a cruel joke, a dark comedy he knew he shouldn't have any reaction to, and yet, it was funny to him. So very funny.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic will be working as a replacement for the Bird who laughs one in this multiverse.   
> A few things inspired this: 
> 
> -A roleplay with my boyfriend where Ed was sent to Arkham in s4 with Oswald 
> 
> -A conversation with my boyfriend where he mentioned how Oswald is always the one who dies in need
> 
> -My need for a main villain in this series
> 
> So Oswald is not dead, he is just a little crazier than usual. It's kind of like how moster clown said, "all it takes is one bad day," although, to be fair, Oswald had a lot of bad days. This was just the final straw, the last snap, which leads me to my theory why Jerome wanted to "break" Oswald so bad. 
> 
> I think Jerome relates to Oswald. Both Jerome and Oswald were born and raised in Gotham by just their mothers. Neither of them had happy childhoods, were responsible for their parent's death (Jerome directly, Oswald indirectly) and rose to the top only to be backstabbed by the person they trusted the most (Edward for Os, Theo for Jerome). The only difference between them is that Oswald knew love and kindness from his mother and Jerome didn't. Because of this, Oswald has an actual heart and he legitimately cares about Gotham and what others think. He wants someone to love, someone to rule with, and even when he does rule, he is a very decent ruler. And Jerome (much like Ed before) sees his heart as a weakness, which is why he wants to destroy it and free the little bird of what is stopping him from reaching his potential. How you may ask? Jerome wants Oswald to try to escape and sacrifice Martin to do that. He wants Oswald to give up on his last love, his love to his apprentice and thus break him. 
> 
> Thanks to Ed it doesn't work. Oswald comes out of Arkham as a depressed mess but he is still Oswald, heart and all. By the time Jerome made the league of horribles, he probably didn't know if Martin was alive or not, he didn't know if he had been successful but he decided to give it a try. 
> 
> He was never sure which is why he always had a card up his sleeve.


End file.
